Long Time, No See!

Hush, I know I know I just went missing all of sudden and you all assumed I was dead and now there won’t be any competition(I know I am hilarious, thanks though). So, the point here is where was I, was I in the rehab after I overdosed, was I in a abusive relationship, was I kidnapped, did I commit suicide? Want me to add more to the list, because I can just go on and on about it.

The simplest answer would be I was just missing me, I was missing the vibe that I had. Do you guys ever miss the person you were? That art of finding happiness in small things, living the best life with your loved ones and of course, having the real good sense of humour. I was the lost cause for like months or may be even now(I mean who knows with what intent I am writing all of this) but I just needed everyone to know whenever something is uneasy, just reach out for help, you have no idea how that one step can be 100 times better than suffering in silence.

Let me just summarize it for you, we all know how hard it is to be vulnerable, how hard it is to just come out and say I have OCD, I have bipolar, I have social anxiety (enough triggering, I better be quiet else I will lose my subscribers), but let me be very clear if help is not sought at the right time, it just makes things more pathetic.

So, there is a framework that I use for myself to manage my illness (don’t put questions on what it is because I am done with my part of seeking help).

1. Thinking People don’t have empathy: You will start hating people when they fail to understand you, you will curse your friends for may be not checking on you, thinking they don’t care about you. It may be okay on your part but perspective taking plays a role here, if you were in their place, would you like triggering your friends’ anxiety by talking more about it? I am not saying they are right in leaving you at your lowest but envying them for who they will aggravate your problems. So for your own sake, just understand the lack of empathy that some people may have, or may be they are concerned for you but don’t really know how to help.
2. Little or no self-care: Trust me, when I say this, I just get the flashbacks of how I spent my past days, sleeping all the time so that I could escape my mind, having earphones plugged for full day so that I could handle my anxiety without shouting at anybody (I did not want to project my anger and frustration on other innocent souls), I just cried while writing diary thinking about how miserable I have become and will I ever be at a place better than this, these racing thoughts kind of made me feel worse about existing. At this point, all you can think about is surviving the day without completing your commitments but I have taken my lessons, this is vicious cycle that I have been living and all it takes is the one step of encouragement.
3. My problems define me: We tend to think that these things define us, they are the end, and the more we assume them to be the terminal point, the more power our illness derives (just writing it out of my experience, I don’t claim anything medically here). But yes, thinking my problem to be how it is has helped me, not calling it small by invalidating my feelings and not making it any bigger than what it is. Just keep your mind open for accepting it without making it your identity.

I guess enough lecturing for today but I just wanted you to know you matter, may be not to anybody else but to you, you deserve to live the best fucking life and be your best version and I understand that it is not easy to come out of the everlasting loop but we are together and we accept you. Our slogan is out of control, out of mind (Just for Euphoria peeps :))